- mom: ok u wait in line i forgot to get the milk
- me: ok
- me:
- me:
- me:
- me: mom where are you please
- me: mom please the line is moving fast
- me: mom i cant breathe where r u it's almost my turn
- employee: next
- me:
- employee:
- me: faints
my brother is 21 years old and a chef in a 5 star restaurant and he still has dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets for dinner every night so dont let anybody tell you how to live your life
(via goodgodyouredumb)
when they let you cum inside
i know my neighbors are so nice they always let me in their house
(via all-we-need-is-l-o-v-e)
(Source: sexspose, via all-we-need-is-l-o-v-e)
(Source: iamtaguro, via all-we-need-is-l-o-v-e)
so my cat does this weird thing where she’ll play with something and then all of a sudden she’ll start meowing because everything single time she gets her claw stuck and then she’ll just look at me meowing because she expects me to get her unstuck. every. single. time.
(via all-we-need-is-l-o-v-e)
(Source: borknyan, via goodvibes-and-openminds)
(Source: de-cate, via we-should-date-since-i)
